What is Cougar Dating?
“Boytoys” are younger lovers of more mature women - Hollywood and Sex and the City made it mainstream. Demi Moore caught the heart of Ashton Kutcher who was 15 years younger while Madonna went after Brazilian supermodel Jesus Luz. So how do these cougars catch their prey?
Cougar dating is generally about having a mature woman look for a much younger man to exercise her sexual preferences on; or in rare cases, a full-fledged relationship. In normal usage, the English term “cougar” stands for a puma or a silver lion. In jargon, the parallel is drawn between the silvery coat of the silver lion and the hair color of older women. Another parallel is the hunger and desire for fresh prey.
How did the term Cougar come about?!
According to legend, the word cougar was originally used as a derogatory term for older women who would frequent bars and go home with whoever was left by the end of the night. In recent years, however, the term has been given a more positive connotation - it's now used for mature ladies who have the money and confidence to get what they want.
One of the first appearances of this phenomenon seems to be the film “American Pie”, where Stifler's Mom (Jennifer Coolidge, born August 1961) had an affair with a younger man. From the perspective of the young men, this hot cougar was a MILF (Mother I'd Like to F*ck). And that's exactly what these attractive older women are playing at. They know they're magnetic and use that to their advantage to fulfill their own needs.
In this article you will not only find out what the term cougar means and where it comes from. You'll get tips and trick for both sides: the determined Cougar and the curious Cub.
If a mature woman is looking for a young man to bed, then there's no need for a long, drawn-out courtship. So let's jump into the adventure:
And it's all due to hormones
The background of the cougar dating phenomenon is that men hit their sexual peak in their 20s, while women only start becoming sexually comfortable at age 35 and above. This imbalance leads to relationships with a rather large age difference. The ever-growing independence of the woman helps reduce the caregiver role of the man. It ultimately transforms the woman's claim in the relationship. Gender roles in relationships are becoming obsolete, and so does the notion of women needing to have a partner of the same age or older.
The fact that men like to spoil younger women and thus gain recognition and a piece of youth, is socially accepted. But women, too, are becoming more and more accepted with a young, radiant person at their side.
How does Cougar Dating work?
Note these 6 points:
- Do not give out a personal or professional mobile number at the first contact.
- Arrange a fixed time and place (the way we used to do in the era of the landline telephone).
- Meet in a public place.
- Tell your friends where you are going and when you should be back home.
- Do not let yourself be picked up from home, but use your own means of transport.
- Keep the first meeting short so you can get out of the situation fast before it becomes uncomfortable.
Trust your gut and your knowledge about human nature. If you have a bad instinct before the date, just say it.
My personal Cougar Dating experience as a man
I was looking forward to being seduced by a mature and successful woman for a while and be the one being led. I imagined Cougar Dating as a reversal of the man-woman interaction, where at the end of the dinner the wife pays and the husband shows appreciation. I figured I was aware of all the circumstances that might happen when I got involved in this. So I jumped into unknown waters.
What I learned from it
Looking back, I remember that the dates with older women were a difficult balancing act between excitement and discomfort. Although it's fantastic to be invited to fine dining and having company that doesn't say no to bedtime whispering, in the end it seemed to me like the women just basically regarded me as a living sex toy. Some ladies also insisted on living the role of a Matriarch and Submissive Cub, which has no potential for a serious relationship. But that was also based on reciprocity.
I can only recommend going out with a mature woman if you want to experience something different. Not only are you invited out and well fed without having to foot the bill, you also get the change to be “tasted” yourself. These women and their stories have shown me that sexual desire doesn't stop in old age. They knew what they wanted and took it. One of these days, I'll probably make another trip to the valley of the Cougars and succumb as a tasty prey.